Dr. Jo Hemmings
Jo Hemmings is a Behavioural Psychologist and a registered member of the British Psychological Society (BPS) and as well as a number of other accredited professional psychology bod...
Select an answer to get started
What is a relationship?
It's a good question. What is the relationship? So relationship is basically a connection with somebody else. So you can have relationships at work, colleagues, family, intimate relationships with partners, friendships, it's any two or more people that have a connection. But then again, there's also the relationship you have with yourself, which is something people talk about a lot, about self-care. So actually a relationship is just something where there is another connection, not even necessarily human. That's the simplest way of explaining it, I think.
How can I maintain a healthy relationship?
To keep a healthy relationship takes several factors. One is effort. No great relationships exist without that consideration of the other person in that relationship, maintenance, that relationship, being respectful, being open-minded communication is probably absolutely key. I think if without communication, no relationship, whatever type it is, whether it's with a sibling, a work colleague, or a partner can ever work. So communication is absolutely key. If there was one thing to maintain a healthy relationship, it's a C word communication.
How do I deal with a breakup?
Look, breakups are really tough and there's no magic wand. There's no prescription that says how long it will take. If you imagine a breakup, a bit like grief, for some people it's got those stages, five stages, denial, can't believe it's happened, anger, you're furious at your partner for doing it. Then there's what we call the bargaining negotiating stage. If I'd done something else, would I be in that situation? Then we often go through the period of depression, feeling low, feeling bad, and finally we get to what we call acceptance, which is, you're okay. You can move on. Now, those phases, those five types of feelings don't necessarily come in that order. They don't have a fixed time period. I mean, people sometimes say that for every year of your relationship when it breaks up, you take a month to recover. So you've been in a five-year relationship. It's going to take you five months, but it's a good rule of thumb, but no one can tell you how long it'll take. You've just got to own how you're feeling and work through it as best you can in your own way and take support from other people because that's what your friends are for.